no one said long distance relationships are easy but i have persisted... heaviness of heart, a tear choking in my throat, laughters amid tears, and sharp pain in my chest upon waking up in the morning are my constant companion. of late, arguments have threatened to mess everything up, insecureness and feeling of unworthiness rearing their ugly heads. the two last arguments have made me think and reassess myself in the relationship and the reasons behind why i am becoming what i am.
i suppose one of my greatest fault is that in dealing with the fact that adam is so far away from me, i rely and i keep looking for a reaffirmation of love from him. anything to symbolise that he loves me. it is said that "Giving symbols of love can be a way for a person to hook our attention and get what they want from us. We become attracted to that person because we value the symbols they give us." my fault is perhaps that i become so focused on the symbol that i start to feel that without it, he doesnt love me enough or i am not good enough for him or i am unworthy of his love.
do u think that if i call him later to say sorry, to tell him that i miss him already and ask if we could make up, he would take my call, accept my apologies and say yes to making up?
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