how time flies

oh my goodness. i did not realise i have left this long. i supposed that is how busy i must have been.  i know i had wanted to write many times, finding my thoughts drifting to places, subjects and things i wanted to pen down. but i supposed there were always more urgent things that needed to be done first, relegating this to second and then to none. oh well, time passed so quickly and it is december first today. still cannot believe that it is already the last month of the year and 2013 is already knocking on the door. another year gone by... boys are growing. ruiz will be 11 in two months time, already at the edge of teenage years, i wish he would stay the same, the chubby youngest baby of mine, always there for me, the one who holds my hands when he sees me crying, the one who always seems to understand me better than the rest, the one who lets me hug him and roll around with him until he gets tired of it and shout in laughter to be released. soon, he will grow to be a young man and eventhough the love is there, and insyaAllah growing, it would never again be the same. there won't be those lying in bed together, looking at the ceiling, telling jokes and laughing, the occasional bear hugs shared by a child and his mom, the stolen kisses on his chubby cheeks and his shouts and screams because he has had enough of being kissed by mommy. anyhow, i shall not dwell in that for now. it only makes me sad.  now it is all good, and he is still my little baby, and i can still kiss him and hug him and make him yelp and yell for mommy to let him go. thaqif unbelievably will turn 13 a few days from now, and amazingly completed his first year away from me, in the boarding school in Baling, Kedah. he survived it and i survived it eventhough i must say, the thought of him going back there when the school holidays are over is not something i look forward to. i still sometimes wish i can bring him home, back to a school here, have him with me all the time, for as long as i still can. then again, why even bother going there? i cannot be selfish now, can i? and thoriq, growing so fast, already a young man, having turned 16 last month. with a mind of his own, always rebelling in a quiet way (well, not all the time) but always coming back to me, alhamdulillah. typical teenage stuff, lots of "u don't understand, mommy". makes one go crazy sometimes. then again, i was once like that too wasn't i?

how time flies...