gosh i make it all sound so depressing but then again, they are all a natural part of every human life. it is whether you are willing to embrace them and grow old gracefully or you fall into a case of denial and seek ways to remain young, at least in terms of looks... which of course lead some people, unfortunately mostly women, to choose face lifts, botox, cosmetic surgery and so on.
anyhow putting all that aside, another year for me means my boys are all growing up. it is a heavy year for me. thoriq and thaqif are having their PMR and UPSR exams this year and the ex is moving again, this time to Johor, having secured a better and well paying job, leaving me to fend alone. which of course is nothing new to me. after all i have been alone three quarter of the time in raising the boys even before our divorce, and when thoriq had his UPSR three years ago, i had to face it alone. so it is basically the same this time except there are two boys facing exams not just one. and thoriq is turning into quite a challenging teenager communication wise. he doesn't speak so much. a typical conversation with him would pretty much go like this:
mommy: "how was school today?"
thoriq: "ok"
mommy: "have you eaten?"
thoriq: "yes"
mommy: "you want to follow me run at the park?"
thoriq: (grunts) "no"
mommy: "ok, don't forget to take that glass of yours to the sink when you are done. i am going to go running for a while ok."
thoriq: (grunts again) "emmm" *at least it sounds that way, don't even know how to spell it to get the sound right*
sighhhhh... sometimes i do not know whether to laugh or cry. last night he was having a long face, all day after coming home from school. and when i asked him what was wrong, he said "bored" and when i told him that we can discuss about things, that he can talk to me, what i got in response was - yes another grunt. half of the time, i believe he thinks i am nagging him. and i told him last night that, i do not start off nagging. i tell him and when he doesn't do things, i remind him. and when he still doesn't do it, i tell him again. which all boils down to them being reminders but in his case, mommy is nagging.
anyhow, i have to find ways to communicate with him as i do not think he will snap out of this teenage phase he is going through anytime soon. i need to see to it that he is actually putting all his effort into getting good results in his upcoming PMR. the other challenge with him is that he is defensive and short tempered (thanks to my side of the family) and thinks that his way is a better way. he has set a target for himself - getting good results to get into the Royal Military College which will pave the way for him to achieve his ambition to become an air force pilot. which is all good especially since at this age, he already knows what he wants in life. the trouble is i have yet to see him put the effort. he is a smart boy but God help me, not willing to put as much effort into his studies and it worries me, naturally as i am a parent and even more, as i am a mother... so i have to find ways to ensure he studies hard, with double the usual effort, without sounding like i am nagging. hmmm that would be difficult... it was so much easier when he was facing his UPSR three years ago though we did have our disagreements and fights, with me getting into tears and calling the ex who was then in Jakarta just to get it off my chest. the good thing that came out of it though was he achieved 5As and the fact that he was happy with his closest friends who also achieved the same results made every fight, every nag worth it. i always think that he would listen to his father better as he was always his daddy's boy, but with the ex being away most of the time and not spending as much time with him, i would just have to step up to the challenge. i pray to Allah, it would all turn well..
as for thaqif, it is a heavy year for him too. i am happy that he has been made a class head (though i was told by the teacher that he rejected it when he was appointed, can you believe that? if it had been a girl, she would have been jumping off her seat. even ruiz would have been over excited at that opportunity, haha...) apart from facing his UPSR, he would have to face homeworks, home revision, kumon, tuition, quran reading class and extra class on saturdays. being skinny and smaller than most boys his age, even ruiz who is three years (well two years and two months to be exact but not precise) younger is slightly taller than him and bigger in size, he kept telling me "i will die mommy, i will die. so many things to do." and i kept telling him that we shall do things together and ensure they get done well without either one of us dying in the process... *eyes rolling up*
as for ruiz? my big baby is a librarian this year. he proudly wears his new uniform, complete with vest and all. he came home yesterday on his first day of school, telling me that he volunteered to become the head of class and his teacher told him he cannot be holding two positions at one time. that prompted the ex to say "ni gila kuasa ni" and we laughed and he innocently said "well i don't mind being a librarian, a class monitor and a prefect at one go. i know i can do it." giving him a hug, i said "i know you do, but you do even better being just a librarian."
anyway the other challenge for me is the driving back and forth to send the kids to kumon and tuition, and working at the same time. trying to schedule their activities was already a big headache for me. they all have different times of movement. for instance today, a tuesday:
3.20pm get out of office and off home to pick thaqif and ruiz for kumon, and me go back to the office
5.00pm hopefully they are done, join me downstairs and off home
6.10pm send thoriq for tuition
7.10pm send thaqif for tuition
8.45pm pick up thaqif from tuition
9.15pm pick up thoriq from tuition
in-between - ensure ruiz does his home revision, teach him etc etc...
in and out of the house, drive back and forth...
that is how my typical day in 2011 is and will be like. and that will go on for the next 10 months plus... however i will be taking a little break in a week's time to visit the fiance in New York for three weeks and in the short time i am gone, the ex will be in charge - good luck to him. a little break at the start of the year and once i get home, i will be going full swing ahead into the supermom mode, cape and all...
oh by the way, happy new year everyone...signing off, supermom xoxo
cik ida, you are always a good mother~ while i was reading, i was thinking too...thinking that can i be a good mother like my mom and at the same time like u? haha~
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