it is late. very very late. 3.02 in the morning to be exact. everyone else in this little cosy apartment in brooklyn are asleep. abang, kak azizah, al, kak lin (they got into JFK at almost 3pm earlier, and i have been here for a week now) and adam. and here i am in front of the laptop screen, typing away. i juts had a mug of hot chocolate and nibbles of some leftover pasta. i am having trouble falling asleep and tomorrow is the big day. yes d day for adam and i, a new chapter in the journey of my life. our solemnisation ceremony will be tomorrow, or shall i say today, later at 1.30pm after the zuhur prayer at the islamic cultural centre of new york. and here i am, still wide awake with a bad throat, a little temperature, eyes that refused to droop and brain that refused to let itself fall into a dream. i am not sure why i cannot sleep. i do not think i am anxious about my new life, and another chance at being a wife. then again, who can tell. i have been so busy, and fallen sick too these past few days, i can never tell. i know i was kind of anxious about getting married. funny how it was all i wanted and now being so close to it, i feel anxious and a little fearful about taking the next step, knowing fully well if i take this step, there is no turning back, that i have got to make good with everything that i have got.
there is never a guarantee in life. the only guarantee there is are in the promises that Allah makes. the rest you have to make the best of. and when i take that vow tomorrow and promise to be adam's wife, i intend to make things good and give it all i have. may Allah bless adam and i with happiness for the rest of our lives, and may He guide us in the journey of our lives together.
