Ya Allah, aku mencari Mu

Ya Allah
hampirkah aku dengan Mu

tatkala aku melabuhkan dahi ku sujud kepada Mu?
Ya Allah
dekatkah aku dengan Mu
pabila aku meletakkan dahi ku selama mungkin mengadu pada Mu?

Ya Allah

aku mencari Mu
setiap hari
dalam diri ku
hati ku
jiwa ku.

Ya Allah
aku mencari Mu
setiap masa
dalam tawa ku
duka ku
dan sedu sedan ku.

Bukankah telah Kau katakan
"Dan Kami lebih dekat kepadanya
dari urat lehernya"?
Namun mengapa aku berasa jauh dari Mu
sentiasa mencari jalan menghampiri Mu
menggapai dalam hala tuju ku kepada Mu?

Bukankah telah Kau katakan
"Andaikata dia mendekati Ku sejengkal
nescaya Aku akan mendekatinya sehasta"?
Namun mengapa aku masih mencari-cari Mu
berlari, jatuh dan bangun kembali
untuk cuba merasa kehadiran Mu
dalam diri ku
hati ku
nyawa ku
dan setiap nafas ku.

Ya Allah
ampunilah aku
di atas ketidaksempurnaan ku
dalam mengasihi Mu.

Kuala Lumpur, 21 Mei 2011

The farewell pilgrimage

When the sun had passed its zenith, the Prophet preached a sermon which he began, after praising God, with the words: "Hear me, O people, for I know not if I ever shall meet you in this place after this year."  Then he exhorted them to treat one another well and gave them many reminders of what was commanded and what was forbidden.

Finally he said: "I have left amongst you that which, if ye hold fast to it, shall preserve from you all error, a clear indication, the Book of God and the word of His Prophet.  O People, hear my words and understand." 

He then imparted to them a Revelation which he had just received and which completed the Koran, for it was the last passage to be revealed:  This day the disbelievers despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me!  This day I have perfected for you your religion and fulfilled My favour unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion.

He ended his brief sermon with  an earnest question:  "O people, have I faithfully delivered unto you my message?"  A powerful murmur of assent, "O God, yea!" arose from thousands of throats and the vibrant words Allahumma na'm rolled like thunder throughout the valley.  The Prophet raised his forefinger and said: "O God, bear witness!"

Prophet Muhammad's last sermon

Date delivered: 632 A.C., 9th day of Dhul al Hijjah, 10 A.H. in the 'Uranah valley of Mount Arafat.

After praising, and thanking God, he said: "O People, listen well to my words, for I do not know whether, after this year, I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying to you very carefully and TAKE THESE WORDS TO THOSE WHO COULD NOT BE PRESENT HERE TODAY.

O People, just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Treat others justly so that no one would be unjust to you. Remember that you will indeed meet your LORD, and that HE will indeed reckon your deeds. God has forbidden you to take usury (riba), therefore all riba obligation shall henceforth be waived. Your capital , however, is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer inequity. God has judged that there shall be no riba and that all the riba due to `Abbas ibn `Abd al Muttalib shall henceforth be waived.

Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabi`ah ibn al Harith ibn `Abd al Muttalib.

O Men, the Unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calendar in order to make permissible that which God forbade, and to forbid that which God has made permissible. With God the months are twelve in number. Four of them are sacred, three of these are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Sha`ban. Beware of the devil, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

O People, it is true that you have certain rights over your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under God's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Treat your women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers. It is your right and they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste...

O People, listen to me in earnest, worship God (The One Creator of the Universe), perform your five daily prayers (Salah), fast during the month of Ramadan, and give your financial obligation (zakah) of your wealth. Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves.

Remember, one day you will appear before God (The Creator) and you will answer for your deeds. So beware, do not stray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

O People, NO PROPHET OR MESSENGER WILL COME AFTER ME AND NO NEW FAITH WILL BE BORN. Reason well, therefore, O People, and understand words which I convey to you. I am leaving you with the Book of God (the QUR'AN*) and my SUNNAH (the life style and the behavioral mode of the Prophet), if you follow them you will never go astray.

All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly. Be my witness O God, that I have conveyed your message to your people.


*The Qur'an: Revealed to Prophet Muhammad during the period from 610-632 AC. The first five verses revealed are: (1) Read in the name of your Lord, Who created. (2) Created man out of a clot that clings (in the womb). (3) Read and your Lord is the Most Bountiful. (4) Who taught by the pen. (5) Taught man that which he knew not.

a basket of fresh bread

The Prophet Muhammad said,

"There is no better companion
on this Way than what you do. Your actions will be
your best friend, or if you're cruel and selfish,
your actions will be a poisonous snake
that lives in your grave."

But tell me,
can you do the good work without a teacher?

Can you even know what it is without the presence
of a Master? Notice how the lowest livelihood
requires some instruction.

First comes knowledge,
then the doing of the job. And much later,
perhaps after you're dead, something grows
from what you've done.

Look for help and guidance
in whatever craft you're learning. Look for a generous
teacher, one who has absorbed the tradition he's in.

Look for pearls in oyster shells.
Learn technical skill from a craftsman.

Whenever you meet genuine spiritual teachers,
be gentle and polite and fair with them.
Ask them questions, and be eager
for answers. Never condescend.

If a master tanner wears an old, threadbare smock,
that doesn't diminish his mastery.

If a fine blacksmith works at the bellows
in a patched apron, it doesn't affect
how he bends the iron.

Strip away your pride,
and put on humble clothes.

If you want to learn theory,
talk with theoreticians. That way is oral.

When you learn a craft, practice it.
That learning comes through the hands.

If you want dervishood, spiritual poverty,
and emptiness, you must be friends with a sheikh.

The mystery of spiritual emptiness
may be living in a pilgrim's heart, and yet
the knowing of it may not be his.

Wait for the illuminating openness,
as though your chest were filling with Light,
as when God said,
Did we not expand you? (Qur'an, XCIV,1)

Don't look for it outside yourself.
You are the source of milk. Don't milk others!
There is a milk-fountain inside you.
Don't walk around with an empty bucket.

You have a channel into the Ocean, and yet
you ask for water from a little pool.
Beg for that love-expansion. Meditate only
on THAT. The Qur'an says,
And he is with you (VII,4)

There is a basket of fresh bread on your head,
and yet you go door to door asking for crusts.
Knock on your inner door. No other.

Sloshing kneedeep in fresh riverwater, yet
you keep wanting a drink from other people's waterbags.
Water is everywhere around you, but you only see
barriers that keep you from water.

The horse is beneath the rider's thighs, and still
he asks, Where is my horse?
"Right there, under you!"
Yes, this is a horse, but where's the horse?
"Can't you see!"
Yes, I can see, but whoever saw such a horse?

Mad with thirst, he can't drink from the stream
running so close by his face. He's like a pearl
on the deep bottom, wondering, inside his shell,
"Where's the Ocean?"
His mental questionings
form the barrier. His physical eyesight
bandages his knowing. Self-consciousness
plugs his ears.

Stay bewildered in God,
and only that.

Those of you who are scattered,
simplify your worrying lives. There is one
righteousness: Water the fruit trees,
and don't water the thorns. Be generous
to what nurtures the Spirit and God's luminous
reason-light. Don’t honor what causes
dysentery and knotted-up tumors.

Don't feed both sides of yourself equally.
The spirit and the body carry different loads
and require different attentions.

Too often
we put saddlebags on Jesus and let the donkey
run loose in the pasture.

Don't make the body do
what the spirit does best, and don't put a big load
on the spirit that the body could carry easily.


Jalaluddin Rumi (Mathnawi, V, 1051-1094)

happy mother's day

"A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and asked him, "Who amongst his near one had the greatest right over him?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother". The man then asked, "Who after that?" to which the Prophet replied again, "Your mother". Asked who is next, the Prophet again replied, "Your mother". When the man asked who after that, the Prophet said, "Your father" - Abu Hurairah (ra)"

on the box for the cupcakes

it was mother's day yesterday and on the night before which was saturday, i took mak and bak with the boys and al for a mother's day dinner. initially wanted to take mak for some good thai food but bak refused to go far.  he only wanted to go to nearby restaurants leaving us with very little options. eventually much to the chagrin of al who was rather tired of food at this particular bariani restaurant, that was where we ended up anyway, decided by bak.  i jokingly asked how was it that he gets to decide on where to eat when it was mother's day and that mak should be the one picking out a place. he just laughed and of course he got his way. that aside, we enjoyed our time together regardless and i was happy to be able to take them out and do a little something with boys and al in tow. after dinner, i made a call to adam and he got to speak with bak and actually wished mak happy mother's day in malay that made mak laugh.

i made cupcakes for a change. nothing fancy. i wanted to get those mother's day stickers for cupcakes but the baking shop was out of them. so i made do with whatever deco stuff i had which weren't much.  and i let the flowers for mak wait a bit until the actual day, so she was not expecting anything after dinner and the cupcakes. when the flowers (my favourite this time, of white lillies and tuberose) were delivered, she was surprised and i suspect delighted (any flowers would make her happy) and called me right away to inform me. 

lil cupcakes all in a row?

yesterday being the actual mother's day, i went there again in the afternoon to have tea with them. abang and family came as well and it was all good, to be talking about their impending trip to manchester and visit to old trafford (where i was with the ex hubby and thoriq when he was barely a year old).  took the opportunity to ask abang and kak ezza to get the boys manchester united's jersey. thaqif especially has been dying for it (and btw manchester united won 2-1 against chelsea last night and abang said if MU wins, everyone would get an MU t-shirt. we will see about that, haha).

cuppies for mom's day

we left just before maghrib and bak was thanking me profusely for the night before and the flowers and i told him to stop thanking me because if he were to do that, i would have a much longer list, too many things to list out, things that i have to thank them for since i was carried in mak's womb, things that i can never thank them enough, things that i am indebted to them all my life and can never repay in any amount of money. to be able to make them happy and give them whatever little i can while they are still alive is what i strive to do insyaAllah.

happy mother's day my beloved mak...

the hadith of intercession

Narrated Ma'bad bin Hilal Al'Anzi:
We, i.e. some people from Basra, gathered and went to Anas bin Malik, and we went in company with Thabit Al-Bunnani so that he might ask him about the Hadith of Intercession on our behalf. Behold, Anas was in his palace, and our arrival coincided with his Duha prayer. We asked permission to enter and he admitted us while he was sitting on his bed. We said to Thabit, "Do not ask him about anything else first but the Hadith of Intercession." He said, "O Abu Hamza! There are your brethren from Basra coming to ask you about the Hadith of Intercession." Anas then said, "Muhammad talked to us saying...

'On the Day of Resurrection the people will surge with each other like waves, and then they will come to Adam and say, 'Please intercede for us with your Lord.' He will say, 'I am not fit for that but you'd better go to Abraham as he is the Khalil of the Beneficent.' They will go to Abraham and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Moses as he is the one to whom Allah spoke directly.' So they will go to Moses and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Jesus as he is a soul created by Allah and His Word.' (Be: And it was) they will go to Jesus and he will say, 'I am not fit for that, but you'd better go to Muhammad.'

They would come to me and I would say, 'I am for that.' Then I will ask for my Lord's permission, and it will be given, and then He will inspire me to praise Him with such praises as I do not know now. So I will praise Him with those praises and will fall down, prostrate before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for your will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' And then it will be said, 'Go and take out of Hell (Fire) all those who have faith in their hearts, equal to the weight of a barley grain.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down (prostrate) before Him. Then it will be said, 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers! My followers!' It will be said, 'Go and take out of it all those who have faith in their hearts equal to the weight of a small ant or a mustard seed.' I will go and do so and return to praise Him with the same praises, and fall down in prostration before Him. It will be said, 'O, Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to, and ask, for you will be granted (your request); and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted.' I will say, 'O Lord, my followers!' Then He will say, 'Go and take out (all those) in whose hearts there is faith even to the lightest, lightest mustard seed. (Take them) out of the Fire.' I will go and do so."' When we left Anas, I said to some of my companions, "Let's pass by Al-Hasan who is hiding himself in the house of Abi Khalifa and request him to tell us what Anas bin Malik has told us." So we went to him and we greeted him and he admitted us. We said to him, "O Abu Said! We came to you from your brother Anas Bin Malik and he related to us a Hadith about the intercession the like of which I have never heard." He said, "What is that?" Then we told him of the Hadith and said, "He stopped at this point (of the Hadith)." He said, "What then?" We said, "He did not add anything to that." He said, Anas related the Hadith to me twenty years ago when he was a young fellow. I don't know whether he forgot or if he did not like to let you depend on what he might have said." We said, "O Abu Said ! Let us know that." He smiled and said, "Man was created hasty. I did not mention that, but that I wanted to inform you of it.

Anas told me the same as he told you and said that the Prophet added, 'I then return for a fourth time and praise Him similarly and prostrate before Him me the same as he 'O Muhammad, raise your head and speak, for you will be listened to; and ask, for you will be granted (your request): and intercede, for your intercession will be accepted .' I will say, 'O Lord, allow me to intercede for whoever said, 'None has the right to be worshiped except Allah.' Then Allah will say, 'By my Power, and my Majesty, and by My Supremacy, and by My Greatness, I will take out of Hell (Fire) whoever said: 'None has the right to be worshipped except Allah.' ''



Volume 9, Book 93, Number 601
Sahih Bukhari