a different kind of life

Sitting here in the kitchen after preparing dinner. Thaqif having his dinner and Ruiz contemplating on whether to shower first or eat and has picked shower. Adam is on the way home. He called while walking to his car, just left the clinic he said. I am talking to Thaqif as i typed this. I made a vietnamese dish of chicken and boiled eggs, and cooked some chinese spinach. The boys thankfully enjoy the dish. I am glad for the company. I was kind of down ever since i did my asar prayer, i was missing bak and mak, home, and all the people and things associated to that. I cry most times when i do my zuhur and asar, always feeling the weight in my chest, and crying in the middle of my solat. Surprisingly, it is different with maghrib and isya', i suppose over the need to be done and get back to what i was doing or to adam most of all who would wait patiently to have a conversation over our day, mostly his of course as mine is nothing interesting or extra ordinary. His would be filled of tales of patients, the staff at the clinic, at times even about what he has seen on his way to work. This reminds me of how Thaqif asked me today about when will i get my new phone and i said that it is ok, that i would get it later as it is not that important, it is not like i have any friends who would call and besides i have the ipad which is sufficient for the time being. After saying that i realised how pathetic i sounded, and how sad. No friend to call me. And that is a fact... How different life is now for me.